History of the Spanish Language

Much has been said and written about the origin and history of one of the most commonly used forms of oral communication, the Spanish language. In fact, many historians and linguists have written many articles which have been circulated throughout the world thanks to the internet. Unfortunately, much of the material out there is simply wrong.

Many have said that Español was derived from Latin. Wrong. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth.

These “experts” are easily fooled by the similarities between different languages. This often leads them to believe that there is some magical relationship between them. But that is a very simplistic assumption by those who are obviously educated beyond their intelligence.

The fact that Latin and Español are spoken, to this day, in much of the world is a clear indication that they are not at all related.

The Castellano language, like its cousins Catalan, Español, Boricua, etc. were demonstrably developed from the ancient idiomatic expressions of the island nation known as Englanda. Not many are familiar with this fascinating home of the first humans to develop spoken language. They, along with their neighbors from Spankutopia, developed the first words that were ever uttered by homo sapiens (not to be confused with homo sexuals). In fact, as the two civilizations developed, and trade between them flourished, it became evident that they needed a common language. This would enhance the exchange of ideas, and reduce the possibility of conflict.

So, long before history began, the Spankutopians and the Engladish commissioned a group of scholars to formulate a new language to be called Spanglish. Soon, the two nations switched from their original languages to the new and improved Spanglish.

In many ways, this was a good thing. But, the original languages eventually were forgotten, and lost forever.

It wasn’t long before one of the Spankutopian noblemen, the illustrious Maximus Robertus de la Rioja, decided that there was a lesson to be learned from the sad demise of the original languages. He then brought together the scholars who had invented Spanglish, by then known as the Real Academics of Spanglish (RAS), and ordered them to control, like dictators, the use and abuse of the language. Yes, for the first time in history there was a way of preventing the perverted practice of allowing inferior civilizations (also known as colonies) from running away from the true and only Spanglish

The rest of the world became envious of the success of the new language. So, in a distant land known as Tolosa, local bureaucrats decided to develop their own language called Esperanto. This name comes from the Spanglish expression “espera tanto” which means “he waits a lot”. The exact significance of this expression is yet to be discovered.

So Esperanto was developed from Spanglish. However, because the Tolosans did not have tight control of their new language, it deteriorated into what eventually became known as Español. Again, the exact nature of this term is yet to be discovered.

Now you would think that the story ends here. But it does not.

Español eventually spread to other parts of the world, including a European country whose name has yet to be discovered. But since the people of this enigmatic country had adopted Español as their new language, they called their country España. The exact reason for this has yet to be studied.

The people of España, being very unimaginative, decided to copy the brilliant actions of the illustrious Maximus Robertus de la Rioja, and established their own group of scholars to protect and defend their new, although obviously inferior, language. They called that group the Real Academy of España (RAE), which was led by the scholar Guillermo Viale de San Martin.

On another note, the scholar Guillermo Viale de San Martin did not live a happy life. He called his friend Francisco Franco a homo sapien, Franco thought he said homo sexual, and Franco had the scholar Guillermo Viale de San Martin deported to the penal colony known as La Plata, where he became a very famous plumber.

The author of this article, Dr. Ignacio Rasputin Espinosa de la Manga, studied linguistics, history and law at the Cocoliche Institute of Technology in La Plata. He is known for his travels around the world, especially the state of Georgia where he and his lovely family visited Villa Rioja.
	Ignacio Rasputin Espinosa de la Manga